This would have been a good time to quit.
To cut my losses, let go of the wasted energy and resources, and just walk away.
Right?
Let me tell you what happened.
This time last year, we planted a peony patch. A big one.
One of our dreams is to grow hundreds of specialty peonies, a valuable flower that only blooms for 3-4 weeks once a year.
So, we launched our program with more than 100 healthy peony plants, carefully planting them into well-irrigated, weed-free beds in the perfect spot on our farm.
It was easy to keep an eye on the patch in early spring. However, by mid-summer the peonies quickly became the last thing on our minds as the rest of the farm was in full bloom.
Queue the weeds.
And that relentless Oklahoma wind.
And the grass stickers that grew on top of our weed barrier fabric.
And those adorable, but never satisfied deer (so. many. deer.).
Then an herbicide was sprayed near the patch to kill the stickers and the plants went into shock.
By fall, the peonies were withered and frail. By winter, the stems were completely gone, buried underneath thick mounds of grass stickers.
Dead as a door nail.
This was a gut-punch as peonies on this scale are a large investment. And it takes 3-5 years to establish their root system to ensure a reliable harvest of blooms.
Starting over would be rough and put us behind another couple of years.
Worse yet, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it all again.
In my moment of weakness, I indulged in self-deprecating thoughts about failure, and being a phony, and not having what it takes to be a good flower farmer.
You know, the thought cycle that can destroy you if you let it.
But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.
One day, in January, I walked to the peony patch to assess the damage. I began to pull away the tangle of stickers and grass, and to my surprise, a tiny green shoot was coming out from the soil. One after one, I checked each plant and found the same thing.
THEY WERE ALIVE!
I hadn’t killed them, but I knew that if I left the debris where it was, they would get choked out and officially die as the soil warmed up and the weeds began to grow back in.
Then I really would have to start over.
I closed my eyes and had a vision of the way I wanted the peony patch to look in a few years. A sea of pink, white, and red blooms, as big as your hand gracefully bobbing in the breeze, while yellow butterflies floated across the rows.
I decided I still wanted it.
So, I declared war on the grass stickers in the peony patch.
Armed with elbow-long rose gloves, knee pads and thick boots, I painstakingly freed them. (And I say painstakingly, as the thorns pushed through the thick gloves.)
It took a lot of work (and Band-Aids). And there is still work to do.
But the good news? More than 95% of the plants survived, and those that did are thriving. Many are even bearing their first buds, ever. This means that by next year, we may have our first harvest of marketable peonies (yay!).
I honestly think that their time under the cover of grass stickers insulated their roots during the winter and kept out the munching wildlife.
In fact, the plants became more resilient.
That’s not a coincidence my friend.
Bob Goff, author of Dream Big wrote this, “When you experience a failure on the path to your ambition, remember this: just because you messed up doesn’t mean you are disqualified. Instead, it gives you the street cred you need before people will really listen to what you have to say.”
Well, that’s good news, because I now know what not to do when growing peonies. I am qualified at teaching people how to kill peonies too, so that’s something right?
As with so many things in this farming adventure, there is a big picture lesson to learn.
Success with farming (or life) will not come from abandoning the projects that get too big, or too hard, or too unpredictable. It comes from dedicating yourself to the process.
In fact, anyone that’s farmed or gardened for any amount of time knows that nothing is predictable in the wild. So many things can and will go wrong.
You can count on it.
It’s about the process of growing and developing yourself.
Success comes from knowing and trusting that difficult situations will yield positive results when you decide to push through them.
Goff writes that, “On the other side of an epic fail can be equally epic beauty and authenticity, which can only be born out of understanding our desperate need for love, grace and help.”
This means you must trust your instincts and push aside the distractions that imply you are not capable of hard things. Because you are so very capable.
Distractions will come in the form of negative thought patterns, bad habits, and anything that is mentally holding you back from moving forward.
Your disjointed thought life will be like the sticker grass that constantly limits your ability to grow and thrive.
Change begins when you start removing the debris that is holding you down.
For me, it meant being brave enough to have tough conversations with those nearest me and committing to regular counseling sessions.
This part of the process takes time and honestly, hard work.
How will you know who you are and what you want in life if you never do the work to figure it out?
I recently heard a business coach say that if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you are going to have to learn how to heal and heal quickly.
You are going to have to claim your fears and face them.
Head on.
Steven Pressfield, author of Turning Pro calls those who are ruled by distractions as “amateurs”, whereas those who are putting in the work to live their true calling are “pros”.
He writes, “The amateur fears that as he turns pro and lives out his calling, he will have to live up to who he really is and what he is truly capable of.
The amateur is terrified that if the tribe should discover who he really is, he will be kicked out into the cold and die.”
Ouch.
We worry:
But what if I am rejected? Those aren’t your people. Find new people.
But what if it doesn’t work out? But what if it does?
What if I don’t succeed? What if you do?
So much of our fears are based on external motivators.
Yet, none of these fears will pull us out of the weed patch. None of these thoughts will get us growing again.
The only way to grow is to encourage new roots, and that that's an inside job.
Want to grow something beautiful in your life? Maybe it's time to strap on your knee pads and get to work.
Thank you for choosing to join our family on this grand adventure, as we grow something beautiful, meaningful and good. If we haven't met yet, we are Sara and Teddy Wilson and we own Oklahoma Cut Flower Company in Norman, Oklahoma. We are a micro-farm that grows specialty cut flowers to educate and inspire our local flower-loving community. We are members of the Association of Specialty Cut Flower Growers.
You can learn more about us and join our adventures by subscribing to our email list and following us on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook.